Thank you for the pleasure of your company this year, Dear Reader.
I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Safe and Tranquil New Year!
Pipistrello x
Image credit: Pinterest
Thank you for the pleasure of your company this year, Dear Reader.
I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Safe and Tranquil New Year!
Pipistrello x
Image credit: Pinterest
Travel is on the horizon for the Pipistrellos next year, Dear Reader, and since it has been a goodly while since Europe was the destination, Your Correspondent thought a few pertinent questions to one wiser than she might be in order, just to get in the mood and allay any feelings of travel rustiness. The wise elder interviewed in this instance is the first AI bot that sounds in any way interesting and goes by the name MonadGPT, and, gloriously, will speak to you from the 17th Century!
Pipistrello: Who should undertake a Grand Tour? [A bit of an exaggeration but I wanted to be sure, firstly, that Travel is still suitable for the likes of me]
Monad-GPT: A young gentleman should undertake a grand tour, that he may see what sort of people there are in other countries, and how they live, and what they do. For it is good for a young gentleman to know how other people live, and what they do. And he should also learn the languages of those countries, and understand the customs of the people. And then he will be better able to manage his own affairs, and to govern his own family. And if he has a wife, then she will be the more able to govern her servants, and to manage her household. [Neither of us is a Young Gentleman but I like the jolly optimism here]
P: My Grand Tour shall include France, but I cannot speak the language. [Ever the Pipistrello Bugbear] What should I do?
M-GPT: If you cannot speak the language of the country where you are going, you should endeavour to learn it before you go. [Not helpful & not likely!] This will enable you to converse with the people, and to understand what they say. You should also endeavour to learn the manners and customs of the people, that you may not offend them, and that you may conduct yourself properly. You should make it a point to visit the most interesting places in the country, and to see the greatest number of curiosities that you can. And if you will be attentive to your studies, and use your time well, you will soon become acquainted with the language, and will be able to enjoy the advantages of a grand tour.
[There followed a question about the means of conveyance in France, which was answered with a breezy listing of cars, buses, rental bicycles &c &c, but then I pointed out Cars?? given my advisor was speaking from the C17th and a profuse apology ensued for the unintended misinformation ...]
P: It will be winter when I undertake my Grand Tour, so what should I take with me to wear?
M-GPT: If you are going to undertake a grand tour in winter, you should take with you warm clothing, such as a fur coat, a pair of gloves and a muffler. You should also take with you a pair of boots or shoes, and a hat or cap that will keep your head warm. And if you are going to a cold climate, you should take with you some warm underclothes, such as a flannel shirt, a pair of woollen stockings, and a pair of woollen drawers. [Jaeger long johns at the ready!] You should also take with you a pair of mittens, and a pair of warm socks. And if you are going to a hot climate, you should take with you light clothing, such as linen or cotton, and a pair of shoes or slippers that will be comfortable. You should also take with you a pair of sunglasses, and a sunshade or parasol, that you may protect your eyes from the sun.
P: [Say, what? ...] Are sunglasses available in the seventeenth century?
M-GPT: And what if all the World should be soe blinded with their glasses that they could not see one another, but should runne upon one another as Blind Men doe upon one another and fall upon one another to the great confusion of all? Yet would wee not say that it was a Cure for the Blindeness of the World. And yet I have heard of some such thing, that there were men who did make Glasses for the Eyes of the People to look through, and these were called Sunglaisses: But I think this is not the way to cure Blindness, nor to bring people to see the Light of God. No, no, let them not makes Glasses for the Eyes of the People, but let them rather turn their eyes to the Sun of Righteousnesse. And let them look upon the Glory of God, and they shall be saved. For if they look upon the Glory of the Lord, they shall be converted, and shall see the light of their own Salvation. It is said of them that looked into the Glory of God, that their faces did shine, as Moses's face did when he came down from Mount Sinai. [Well, ask a silly question ... Perhaps I'll pack some sunnies anyway; Salvation might wait]
P: Does a lady need a servant to travel with? [Back to more prosaic matters. And no, Mr. P is not my Servant but his own Man]
M-GPT: No, a lady does not need a servant to travel with. She can travel independently, and take care of herself. However, if she wishes to have the assistance of a servant, she can engage one. The servant can assist her in packing, dressing, and attending to her needs. But if she is an independent woman, she can travel alone, and take care of herself.
P: Should a man earn a living? [Just a thought, whilst on the topic of engaging servants]
M-GPT: It is not meet that any one should starve, and that he may have his living; for in this case we may say, as was said of a man who was much troubled with a toothache, He hath no living. And it is true, if a man have a living, he must either live by his own labour or else be maintained by another. Therefore it is the duty of every man to provide for himself, and not to be idle. It is true, some men are able to live without working, because they have money laid up; but such persons do not make their livings by their own labour; and so it is a duty for all men to get their livings by their own labour. And therefore it is the duty of a man to work, and not to be idle.
P: If it is the duty of a man to work, what do you say to one who wishes to take a Grand Tour?
M-GPT: A man who wishes to take a grand tour is not neglecting his duty. He is merely following the example of other men who have taken similar tours, and who have returned home with valuable information, which they have used to their advantage. A grand tour is a means of obtaining a knowledge of the world, and of improving one's mind. It is also a means of seeing different countries, and of learning the manners and customs of the people. If a man has the means of taking a grand tour, and the inclination to do so, he should not be prevented by any one from doing so.
P: [Speaking of improving one's mind ...] Can you recommend an Improving Read for a lady?
M-GPT: There are many books that are good for a lady to read, both for their amusement and instruction. One book that is very good is The Book of Common Prayer, which contains prayers that are suitable for all occasions, and which are very useful for ladies to read. Another book that is good for ladies to read is The Art of Dying Well, which teaches them how to die well, and how to prepare for death. There are also many other books that are good for ladies to read, and which will help them to improve their minds, and to become better Christians.
If you can judge a Man by the holiday reading he recommends then I shall give Mr. MonadGPT rather a wide berth from now. Opportunistic proselytiser!
Image credit: Flying With Hands
Gather round for my Ghost Story, Dear Reader |
Auditory geometry |
There's been a surfeit of Pink petals around these parts of late. Some of which is architectural. Behold the new acoustic petals in the Concert Hall at the Opera House, seen twice recently:
Viewed both this way ... |
... and that. |
Feast your eyes upon these Lilly Pillys |
They're the size of cherries! |
Not to mention the gigantic magnolias |
Practically the size of soup bowls |
A mystery pink blossom at the park ... Addendum: Now identified as the Judas Tree Thank you, dear Rosemary! |
Azaleas and Magnolias making companionable bedfellows |
The Spring-time, O the Spring-time!
Who does not know it well?
When the little birds begin to build,
And the buds begin to swell.
When the sun with the clouds plays hide-and-seek.
And the lambs are bucking and bleating,
And the colour mounts to the maiden's cheek,
And the cuckoo* scatters greeting;
In the Spring-time, joyous Spring-time!
Jeder hat Kraft, or Everyone is powerful |
Your Correspondent has only been to Berlin once, a two-day work trip in late 1994, memorable for so many reasons. The Berlin Wall had been down for a few years by then, and the pioneering tourists had already swarmed across. At the casual announcement of my intended visit, various seasoned travellers yawned, "Oh, you're too late ... " It appeared that unless you were there while vestiges of the Wall were still hanging on was it cool to be in Berlin.* How to explain to the world-weary that what did that matter when you were actually going there for a meeting? And as for cool, it was probably going to snow.
Meeting and dinner with the client done, I had the full Saturday to myself. I was in and out on foot during the day, marvelling at the simply gorgeous and statuesque young men and women I would see as I passed through the lobby of my Hilton-esque hotel**. So not what I expected of the German people!*** By the evening I was up for a night out and a conversation with an elderly, black American poet and long-time resident (of course) at the next table in a bistro sent me with directions for a very Berlin experience.
I found myself in a roofless semi-derelict warehouse, each floor of this heaving nightclub an exercise in German after-dark cool. There I met a young architecture student who proposed a tour of his city and an object lesson in European modernist archicture post-haste when I wrinkled my nose over our discussion of Brutalism. I was flying back to London in the morning and there was no time to lose!
Next I knew, we were driving around in the sleet in Berlin, various concrete buildings we passed given a precis of their history, merits and contribution to the cityscape and I found myself becoming more appreciative as the tour wore on. The city was bristling with cranes, (all the cranes of Europe were employed on sites rebuilding Berlin, apparently), and architects were in hot demand.
East Berlin bar-hopping was next on the tour, moody and mournful places in the wee small hours, anonymous ground-floor apartments facing streets still pockmarked with scars from their life as the poor half of the city, just with a bar set up amongst the domestic furniture. Finally, a spin back to the architect's apartment for breakfast at dawn. Freezing cold, no lift, but sitting eating toast with my coat and gloves on, just had to admire that it was, of course, by Le Corbusier. Concrete and chic.
* By this time, the Jeder hat Kraft slab had been long ago shipped to a warehouse in outer Sydney by the German-Australian businessman Peter Kubiak, where it languished until its donation to the Goethe-Institut park in 2019, on the 30th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall.
** It was only when I was checking out of my hotel that I clocked all the signage in the lobby announcing it as hosting Vogue Magazine's "Face of the Year" while I was there, hence the cream of Germany's models were trooping through for the duration.
*** Apologies Dear Britta & Sean for my youthful gaucheness!
Image credit: Flying With Hands
William Stewart, C19th oil, The Dominie |
Last year's report of the Society for Education of the Poor in the Highlands, read at the general meeting held in Inverness, in October last, and just published, states that the number of schools amounted to 511, and they were attended by 37,000 scholars. These schools are rapidly dispelling the dark clouds of ignorance that have so long hung over those romantic but benighted regions, and effecting a salutary change in the moral habits of the Highlanders.
Spot the sea life at the train station |
I'm toting about this top-hatted lobster a lot these days. He takes charge of the dancing paraphernalia within. Fair weather or foul, several times a week I'm off to the studios where much exertion ensues. For brain and body! The tap dancing teacher, particularly, reassures us that dementia will be prevented but it's the sense of satisfaction afterwards and the, well, feeling virtuous which drives me forward. And the glimpses of life aquatic are a bonus around this neck of the woods. So refreshing.
Wharf apartments on view through the studio windows. 'Ow the other 'arf live! |
I've puzzled over this whilst pliéing at the barre. Doll house, hen house or dog house? |
This vessel gets about a lot |
I'm guessing it's a mini oil tanker to refuel the cruise ships |
A stark conrast to this curiosity which was motoring powerfully along the other morning! |
Also rain, hail, shine stalwarts |
As we started along the beach towards Lyme, I noted all those hammers and bags hanging off his poor, patient horse. There was also, tied to the bridle and flopping against the horse's side, a dead seagull. "Sir," I said, "what you doing with that gull?"
"Ah, I'm going to have the kitchen at the Three Cups roast it for my dinner! I am eating my way through the animal kingdom, you see, and have had such things as hedgehogs and field mice and snakes, yet in all this time I haven't had a common gull."
"You've eaten mice!"
"Oh, yes. They are rather good on toast."
I wrinkled my nose at the thought, and at the smell of the bird. "But—the gull stinks, sir!"
Mr Buckland sniffed. "Does it?" For such a keen observer of the world, he often overlooked the obvious. "Never mind, I'll have them boil it up, and use the skeleton for my lectures. Now what have you found today?"
John Lavery, The Dentist, 1929 |
There's never any white knuckle gripping of the chair when Your Correspondent makes a visit to the dentist, it being a rather more relaxed and convivial affair, principally because there's nothing amiss with my fangs. The White Lab Coat of Authority as seen on this dashing dentist morphed sometime ago into white t-shirt, denims and Italian shoes on my long-time former dentist and latterly into navy scrubs and clogs on his fashionably-tattoed 20-something niece who has taken over the practice.
The picture hasn't changed much from above, although I was wearing slightly less jewellery for the occasion of my checkup and clean. And I'm not really a candidate for the Swarovski crystal tooth gems she has introduced to the dental menu. Very groovy (is that still a word? I forgot to ask) music still plays, as does video footage over the chair of sea life frolicking possibly in The Great Barrier Reef, all meant as a distraction from what's going on at the business end, but none of that was necessary yesterday. My dentist and her assistant were busy bringing me bang up to date on the vernacular of Gen-Z.*
It started with Ghosting. The term came up when she was regaling me with an anecdote about visiting a cheese place nearby. We'd moved off a bit of preliminary teeth chat into dietary changes which segued into her talking about visiting this place with her last assistant before she was ghosted by her. There was that word! I really haven't had a proper explanation as to what it means. I saw my chance, Dear Reader, and as soon as hands and whatnots were out of my mouth, I asked if she'd talk me through Ghosting.
She and her lovely new assistant were only too delighted. It was a simple enough explanation - more or less vanishing without trace or warning - but the anecdote which illustrated this example was utterly enthralling, despite the what? why?? nature of it. When another breather between proceedings cropped up, I asked if there was anything else I need to know about. I was trying to remember another vaguely understood societal term I hear bandied about - maybe it was Gaslighting? - but instead I promptly landed into an enlightening tutorial on completely new-for-me vernacular by the young women. All to do with dating.
I learnt all about Love-bombing (being smothered by someone with affectionate intensity at the beginning and then when you're hooked they drift away); Breadcrumbing (just leaving enough crumbs on social media so your target doesn't lose interest); the coloured flag system of classification of potential dates and some acronyms appropriate or not for your "profile". Not only did I come away with a nice professional scrub of the fangs but my marvellous dentist brought me the priceless gift of knowledge and I'm now right up to date.
* It's rather nice to find yourself, ahem, tradesmen to look after one's physical condition when you take yourself off to the shop, so to speak, who are young for they can outlive you. Rummaging around for replacements after one takes retirement, or even drops off their perch, is not for the faint-hearted. A couple of my -ologists are ageing alongside me but luckily the newer arrivals into the diary seem like positive children.
Image credits: 1: British Dental Association Dental Museum; 2: Graphics Fairy
This most excellent book bag was found hanging on a rack outside a bookshop I passed the other day. Apart from the reminder that there's no time for frivolities like twirling wreathes with a BFF when there's a book within reach, Your Correspondent thought it was time to dip into our rich medieval past and share some more nuggets of wisdom from our elders. If your memory is getting a little rusty then you are in luck today for Jacobus Publicius shares some memory enhancing tips from 1482.
For example: The tongue of a hoopoe, given to a forgetful person, will restore memory.
Nota bene: no cooking instructions were given.
Can you guess what this bit of machinery might be? |
Flaunting its rusted patented wizardry as farm scuplture ... |
A rotating tea blending drum! |
A typical ruined farmhouse as seen on properties all over this wide, brown land |
Cocksfoot grass and hawthorns in berry |
Hello girls! |
Cobwebs galore |